Opening monologue: I don’t want any more lies, but I’m afraid of the truth. It’s okay, though, because our love conquers all. Sure, if they can keep from breaking up every five episodes. Let’s dive into the latest episode where drama unfolds faster than you can say “Mercedes Valentine Fucks Her Friend” – though thankfully, that particular scenario remains in the realm of over-the-top search terms rather than on-screen reality. What we do get is classic telenovela craziness and teen angst galore.
We pick up right where we left off, with Tomás cementing his status as a contender for the “Dumbest Person on the Show” award. In a move that rivals Facundo and Guido’s brainpower, Tomás confesses to Marizza that he and Pablo had a bet. Pablo, ever the smooth talker, arrives just in time and they concoct a ridiculous story about “The Marizza Bet” – a wager about telling Pablo’s dad he wants to quit hockey, supposedly named because Pablo was being so “Marizza-like” in his confrontation. Astonishingly, Marizza buys it. Seriously? Pablo and Tomás then take their incredibly important argument to the bathroom, because where else does teenage drama happen? And who should be lurking nearby but Pilar? Cue dramatic music. Pilar, predictably, overhears everything. She declares she won’t say anything, storms off with maximum teenage angst, and Pablo and Tomás return to their… bathroom wrestling match. Homoerotic undertones in a high school bathroom? Just another Tuesday.
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Image alt text: Tomás and Pablo wrestling in a bathroom, a comedic depiction of their fight after revealing the bet to Marizza in Rebelde Way.
Meanwhile, at the shady bar that seems to be the only establishment in town that tolerates underage drinking and questionable arm-wrestling contests, Manuel bumps into Blas. Blas, showcasing a rare moment of intelligence, immediately recognizes Manuel despite his paper-thin disguise of sunglasses. “I know it’s you, Manuel, you literally just put on a pair of sunglasses.” You’d almost think Blas was becoming a competent villain. Manuel, trying to maintain his bad-boy image, attempts a cool sip of his drink and promptly chokes. Manuel, the bad boy who can’t handle his liquor – truly terrifying. Blas, in a surprisingly generous mood, decides to ease Manuel into the arm-wrestling circuit, starting him off against someone called “the Baby.” Spoiler alert: “the Baby” is a hulking, bald mountain of a man. The bar patrons react with appropriate levels of concern for Manuel’s well-being.
Image alt text: Manuel looking intimidated by “The Baby”, a large bald man, at an arm wrestling bar in a scene from Rebelde Way.
Back at school, Mia, the queen of melodrama, returns early, feigning illness to escape the dreaded New York trip. Mercedes, ever the suspicious antagonist, tries to expose Mia’s ruse to Papa C, but Papa C, blinded by parental devotion (or perhaps just tuning out Mercedes), ignores her. Once alone, Mia resorts to desperate measures and calls Sonia, begging her to orchestrate a dramatic rescue from the New York trip. Papa C and Mercedes, in a display of truly mature adult behavior, decide to spy on Mia, witnessing Sonia’s arrival at the school. Mercedes, predictably, cackles triumphantly, convinced of her superior intellect. One has to wonder if Mercedes, supposedly a lawyer, ever actually works. Perhaps her legal skills are on par with Ned Wakefield’s, which is to say, entirely fictional. Sonia arrives to help Mia, and when Papa C inevitably knocks, the brilliant plan they concoct is… hiding Sonia in the closet. Five minutes to come up with that gem. Inside, Mia, in a moment of faux-sincerity, tells Papa C she wants to have her quinceañera with her friends. Papa C, ever the drama king, is like, “Friends like Sonia Rey?” and launches into a tirade, insulting Sonia until she can no longer contain herself and bursts out of the closet. Papa C, naturally, declares they are going to have a “serious talk.” Because nothing screams riveting television like adults having boring arguments.
Image alt text: Mia looking distressed while talking to her father, Papa C, with Sonia Rey hiding in the closet behind them, a tense scene from Rebelde Way.
In a stark contrast to the adult boredom, Marcos and Lujan are navigating the treacherous waters of new coupledom. Wandering the campus, they embody awkward teenage romance. They quickly discover their differences – Marcos’s lack of interest in sports and violence clashes with Lujan’s disinterest in Neon Genesis Evangelion. They bond over their mutual inexperience with dating, culminating in an adorably awkward first kiss. Aww, young love.
Image alt text: Marcos and Lujan sharing an awkward first kiss on the school campus in Rebelde Way.
Pilar, witnessing this display of teen affection, promptly seeks out her mother to lament her own loveless existence. If even Marcos and Lujan can find love, why can’t she? She blames Mama D for, and we quote, “cramping her style.” Mama D, finally reaching her breaking point, snaps back with some actual truth: maybe if Pilar stopped acting like a “dick,” she might actually get a boyfriend. Pilar, in true Pilar fashion, completely misses the point and instead launches into an evil voiceover about finding a way to date one of the “cutest boys in school” to make everyone jealous. Priorities.
Image alt text: Pilar talking to her mother and complaining about her love life, plotting to make others jealous in Rebelde Way.
Back at the shady bar, Manuel’s arm-wrestling match against “the Baby” commences. Surprisingly, Manuel wins. He quickly realizes that “the Baby” threw the match, admitting he hates Blas just as much as Manuel does and is happy to help Manuel mess with him. Manuel, intrigued by this potential alliance, wants backstory, but Blas interrupts, offering himself up for a match. Blas, naturally, cheats, punching Manuel in the face because fair play is for losers (and telenovela villains). This cheap shot distracts Manuel just long enough for Blas to win. Manuel protests the blatant cheating, but the shady bar patrons are entirely unconcerned with rules. Arm-wrestling: the Wild West of bar games.
Vico, in a moment of unexpected concern, overhears Feli vomiting in the bathroom. Feli tearfully confesses her distress over Simon’s rejection. They head to the cafeteria where Feli pours out her heart. Vico, ever the cynic, offers the insightful observation that “guys never change.” “Welcome to the club,” Feli replies. They’re actually kind of endearing when they’re getting along. Luna enters, asking about Mia’s whereabouts. Feli, still holding a grudge against Luna, makes a dramatic exit. Then Guido appears – the cafeteria is apparently Grand Central Station for dramatic teenagers – announcing his cleaning duties. Vico, in no mood to assist, snipes that she’s not helping him this time.
Image alt text: Vico and Feli talking in the school cafeteria, bonding over their relationship problems in Rebelde Way.
Manuel returns to school, regaling Nico with tales of his arm-wrestling “victory” against “the Baby.” “I stood in front of a gigantic man…and I won,” he dramatically declares. Nico raises a skeptical eyebrow. “Okay, he let me win,” Manuel admits. Honesty is the best policy, sometimes. They then discover that “the Baby,” post-defeat, slipped Manuel his number. Intrigue! Is “the Baby” romantically interested in Manuel? Probably not. Manuel plans to call him to dig up dirt on Blas. Because subtlety is clearly not Manuel’s strong suit. One has to wonder how Blas, a glorified yard assistant, manages to fund his villainous schemes and acquire his own “acting troupe.” Is he secretly Count Olaf in disguise?
Lujan excitedly tells Marizza that Marcos has a surprise for her, but Marizza, consumed by teenage angst, is too emo to care. Marizza reveals her lingering suspicion about Pablo and Tomás’s bet story. Lujan, momentarily considering the weirdness of it all, quickly dismisses it in favor of making out with her boyfriend.
Image alt text: Marizza looking skeptical and Lujan looking excited, discussing Pablo and Marcos in Rebelde Way.
Pablo, in a grand romantic gesture (or perhaps a guilt-induced peace offering), buys Marizza a gigantic teddy bear and a balloon – because it’s Valentine’s Day, and what says “I’m sorry for lying” like oversized plush toys? Pilar conveniently appears, and Pablo tells her to stay out of his business and forget about the bathroom incident. Pilar, sensing an opportunity, offers to keep quiet in exchange for a favor: she wants Pablo to help her get with Tomás. Seriously, Pilar needs help? Just corner Tomás and wait for his willpower to crumble. Pablo laughs, dismissing Pilar’s threat, confident that nobody believes anything Pilar says anyway. Famous last words, Pablo.
Image alt text: Pablo holding a large teddy bear and balloon, talking to Pilar in a hallway at school in Rebelde Way.
Sonia and Papa C are still fighting. Yes, still. Their arguments are as repetitive and predictable as ever, revolving around the same tired themes. Frankly, it’s background noise at this point. Something about Mia’s future, Sonia’s influence, and general parental disapproval. Papa C eventually slams down a visa application, demanding Mia fill it out by tomorrow. Sonia, ever the supportive (and slightly irresponsible) mother figure, comforts Mia and promises they’ll “screw up” the application so Mia won’t have to go anywhere. Submitting false information on a visa application? Probably not the best idea, but hey, it’s telenovela logic.
Image alt text: Mia looking upset while Sonia Rey comforts her, with Papa C standing nearby holding a visa application in Rebelde Way.
Marcos takes Lujan to the orphanage director (“Laura”)’s house – finally revisiting the plot point they conveniently forgot about for a couple of episodes while they were busy making out. Lujan is understandably nervous about confronting Laura, but Marcos offers reassuring boyfriend support. Lujan rings the buzzer, and a woman answers the door. “You’re not the person I’m looking for,” Lujan states, in a moment of telenovela dialogue perfection. The woman reveals herself to be Laura’s daughter and explains that Laura no longer lives there, due to past incidents with orphans trying to “hurt her.” Sounds like that orphanage had some serious issues. Laura’s daughter promises to contact Lujan if she finds any information she can share.
Marizza encounters Simon, who wants to show her his pictures (not a euphemism, surprisingly). Marizza, still harboring justifiable resentment, declines. Then Pilar dramatically appears! Marizza is about to ignore her when Pablo physically drags Pilar away, hissing threats. This, naturally, piques Marizza’s suspicion. Good job, Pablo, way to be subtle. However, all suspicion is immediately forgotten when Marizza enters the lounge and sees Pablo’s gigantic teddy bear. Oh, Marizza. The background music suddenly shifts to the oh-so-familiar strains of Mandy Moore’s “Crush.” Nostalgia alert!
Image alt text: Marizza smiling and looking happy while admiring a large teddy bear, with Pablo standing behind her in Rebelde Way.
Speaking of Pablo and Pilar, Pablo’s violent tendencies are on full display as he tries to throttle Pilar. Pilar reiterates her demand: silence in exchange for Pablo’s help in getting with Tomás. Honestly, it’s a win-win situation. Poor, directionless Tomás needs someone to tell him what to do.
Vico informs Mia about Feli’s emotional distress over Simon and his Marizza obsession. Mia, in a moment of peak Mia-ness, responds with, “Ugh, he likes Marizza? How could we have hired a photographer with such bad taste?” Vico, understandably exasperated, points out that Mia has missed the point entirely. Mia, somewhat contritely, admits they are all worried about Feli, mentioning Luna’s concern that Feli might be making herself throw up. Vico suddenly remembers hearing Feli vomiting earlier. Wait for it… wait for it… “She told me she was vomiting because she didn’t feel well,” Vico adds.
Image alt text: A GIF of Tyra Banks fainting dramatically, representing the missed opportunity to address Feli’s potential bulimia.
Oh. Never mind. They were this close to acknowledging Feli’s potential bulimia after eighty episodes. So close.
Marizza is completely smitten with Pablo’s teddy bear, leading to make-out sessions on the pool table. She complains about the annoying party preparations, which Pablo finds utterly charming. “You’re so smart,” he says, clearly blinded by love (or teddy bear-induced gratitude). Marizza mentions she does want Erreway to sing at the party, raising the question of whether they plan to perform their usual set of one song for an entire night-long celebration. Pablo promises to write her a song for her birthday, and more making out ensues. Pilar then reappears, effectively ending Pablo’s romantic moment. Hee.
Image alt text: Pablo and Marizza kissing on a pool table, interrupted by Pilar who is creeping in the background in Rebelde Way.
Manuel calls “the Baby,” and they arrange a meeting. “Finally, Mia’s going to see what kind of guy she’s dating,” Manuel declares to Nico and Luna. Luna, ever perceptive, wonders why Manuel cares so much about Mia’s dating life. Nico, surprisingly oblivious, dismisses the idea that Manuel still has feelings for Mia, conveniently forgetting the whole revenge plot against her father. Remember that? Nico and Luna certainly don’t.
In Pablo’s room, Tomás is engrossed in a gaming magazine featuring The Sims. Predictable Tomás behavior. Marizza, on the other hand, is definitely the type to remove the pool ladder in The Sims. Pablo, feeling guilty about Tomás losing “The Marizza Bet,” decides to help him out. If Tomás goes out with Pilar, Pablo will return his precious CD collection. “Why Pilar?” Tomás whines, conveniently forgetting his past brief romance with her. He glances longingly at his lost CDs and reluctantly agrees. Teenage priorities, folks.
Image alt text: Tomás reading a gaming magazine with The Sims on the cover in Pablo’s room, agreeing to go on a date with Pilar in Rebelde Way.
Marcos and Lujan return to school, only to be intercepted by Dunoff. He informs Lujan that he’s received a message from her tutor, and she’s to get into a car and go to the airport, because her tutor is taking her… somewhere. Dunoff, remarkably clueless, doesn’t know the destination. And he’s just letting Lujan go? Security at this school is clearly lax. Dunoff forbids Marcos from accompanying her, and enthusiastically wishes her luck in meeting her mysterious tutor. Suspiciously tutor-shaped kidnapping plot, anyone?
Manuel stalks Mia down a hallway as she texts Blas, declaring she needs him. ICK, indeed. Manuel snarks that she’s in his way, and Mia demands to know his urgent destination. Manuel, in a display of astounding stupidity, brags to her that he’s going to uncover Blas’s “sordid history.” Stealth? What’s stealth? Mia condescendingly dismisses Manuel’s quest, convinced Blas is squeaky clean. Except… wasn’t he in jail? Maybe Mia needs to check the sex offender registry. She attempts to blow Manuel off, but eventually asks to join him. Misery (and bad decisions) loves company.
Feli discovers a letter from Mia asking her to be the maid of honor at her quinceañera. Feli is overjoyed. Aww, Mia can be a good friend sometimes. Prepare for Feli’s potential bulimia to escalate under the pressure of quinceañera preparations, though.
Mia and Manuel board a bus to meet “the Baby.” Mia, predictably, complains about “public transit, gross!” Manuel, in a moment of chivalry, leaves her to figure out the fare machine. Also, the random Pepsi Twist sign guy from previous episodes makes a cameo in the background. Manuel dramatically announces they are going to uncover the truth behind “The Son of the Cobra,” aka Blas. So Blas isn’t even the actual Cobra? Disappointing.
Image alt text: Mia and Manuel on a bus, Mia looking disgusted while Manuel looks determined, going to meet “The Baby” in Rebelde Way.
Pablo tries to push Tomás towards Pilar, but Tomás is understandably hesitant. “What if she sets me on fire?” he doesn’t actually say, but is probably thinking. Pablo, losing patience, shoves Tomás into Pilar. Hee! Tomás awkwardly invites Pilar for a drink, and Pilar is predictably thrilled.
In the lounge, Marizza is loudly product-placing a website when Papa B arrives. Marizza, attempting damage control, tells him she had nothing to do with Pablo quitting hockey (referencing Pablo’s ridiculous “Marizza Bet” excuse). Papa B, understandably confused, is like, “Say what now?” Marizza realizes she may have inadvertently revealed Pablo’s lie. Oops.
Image alt text: Marizza talking to Papa B in the school lounge, looking concerned as she realizes she might have revealed Pablo’s lie in Rebelde Way.
Guido is at his sad apartment, wallowing in emo misery to the sounds of Nickelback. Vico, girl, you dodged a bullet of epic proportions. He flashbacks to the “good times” with Vico, which basically consisted of one arcade date. Tomás had longer relationships with Fernanda. His doorbell rings, and he opens the door to find his mother. Cue family drama.
Papa B confronts Pablo, complimenting him on the teddy bear romantic strategy, then pivots to the real issue: “So what’s up with you wanting to quit hockey?” Pablo’s internal reaction: “Yikes.”
Manuel and Mia arrive at “the Baby’s” house and find the door unlocked. They cautiously enter, and are predictably shocked by whatever awaits them inside. Hopefully, it’s a body. That would be romantic, in a telenovela sort of way.
Image alt text: Mia and Manuel looking shocked and surprised at something inside “The Baby’s” house in Rebelde Way.
Pilar and Tomás sneak off for a clandestine make-out session in the cabinet under the stairs, but are interrupted by Marizza. Marizza chases Tomás away, then cornering Pilar, demands the truth about Pablo. Cliffhanger!
Image alt text: Marizza confronting Pilar in a hallway, demanding to know the truth about Pablo in Rebelde Way.
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